Why Ill Never Shop at Officemax Again

"I do repent" —

This is why I'll never store at OfficeMax once again—even if everything is free

This column is my outset step toward recovering from a maddening return experience.

I've often remarked to anyone who would listen that robots are becoming more like humans, and humans are becoming more than like robots.

When it comes to the latter, nowhere is that more true than in my recent dealings with cashiers, managers, and and then-called "customer service" agents at the merged office-supply powerhouse of Office Depot and OfficeMax.

"I do repent" or words to that effect was the robotic mantra I received literally dozens of times when speaking to company employees on the phone, and in person, about OfficeMax's absolutely asinine corporate render policy, and the visitor's inability to actually bear out that asinine corporate return policy.

I am writing this as my offset footstep toward recovering from an ordeal that started with the unproblematic task of purchasing a router—a mutual chore that virtually of u.s. have done, or will do, in the future. And I confess, however, that I lacked the willpower to refrain from existence a wiggle to most every OfficeMax employee I dealt with. I plead guilty. I literally could not assist myself. I had my reasons. Simply I do apologize.

Mesh Wi-Fi

I am running an old Drome Farthermost router from Apple, and I didn't want to exist left out of the new consumer mesh Wi-Fi frenzy that everybody, including Ars, is talking about. I suspected my Airport Extreme was failing, every bit the point at my California East Bay residence was intermittently turning my normal connectedness of 500 Mbps down and 20 Mbps upwardly into a crawl.

Afterward reading several reviews, including one here at Ars, I chose the Velop Whole-Home Mesh Wi-Fi product from Linksys. The single unit of measurement was advertised everywhere for $199.99. But OfficeMax had it for $179.99.

The first sign that I should have avoided OfficeMax was the online checkout page. The $179.99 advertised price, when clicking to buy, turned into $199.99.  As I was scratching my head about how bogus this was, up popped the site'due south chatbot. Either a robot or a human robot gave me their proper name and typed, "Information technology will be my pleasure to assistance you today."

The chatbot replied that OfficeMax would honor the $179.99 cost. All I had to practice was purchase the product online, supply the chatbot with the order number, and the $179.99 cost would exist honored. I was skeptical but clicked purchase anyway considering I was excited about getting a new router—and I could immediately go option information technology up at the retail store about a mile from my house.

The $twenty difference never showed on my invoice, fifty-fifty afterwards I picked up my new router. And then before I unboxed the product, I called the "customer service" telephone line. I manipulated through the visitor's automated answering service that I suspect OfficeMax executives have never experienced or are too embarrassed to admit to having ever used. I finally got a human on the line and loudly explained my situation repeatedly.

"I exercise repent" was the amanuensis's response.

The company honored the $20 discount. I said a few more things I should not have said.

"I practice repent," was the agent's reaction.

This was only the offset of my OfficeMax nightmare.

Accept me to your leader

I began to set up my router, and I downloaded the Linksys iPhone app from the Apple App store. I finally got it up and running after several attempts using the app. Despite this setup failure, the app was pretty beast. Information technology gave me all sorts of options, including one to cut Internet to any connected device I wanted. I had neat fun secretly cutting off the Xbox connection while my two sons were playing—multiple times. "DAD!"

Just such shenanigans weren't worth the $179 price. This router was working no better, and, in fact, was functioning worse than my Apple tree router. And every time I unplugged information technology to examination information technology against the Apple router, I had to go through the same initial setup process after powering it back on.

So knowing that OfficeMax had a 14-twenty-four hour period return policy, two days later on, I packed upwardly the product and drove information technology dorsum to the OfficeMax where I purchased it.

I waited in line, gave the cashier my receipt, and set the Velop on the counter. After a few minutes of trying to give me a refund, the cashier called over a director. Because I bought the router online, they said, I couldn't render the product to the store where I picked it up. The manager told me I needed to phone call their "customer service" number to arrange a courier to come pick it upwardly from my residence.

I haggled for a few minutes, to no avail. I left with everybody in the store'southward cavernous warehouse hearing near how dumb I thought they were.

I collection the mile'south distance home and made the telephone call. After ping-ponging my way through the automated corporate telephone lines again, "I practice apologize" was the response I got from the customer service agent after I explained my displeasure with the return policy.

That was on Friday, October 20. The representative said a courier would be over former between 8am and 5pm on Monday. Later on I said I wasn't going to wait at domicile all twenty-four hour period, she said the courier would call to requite a closer fourth dimension window.

"I do apologize."

Monday came and went with neither a pickup nor a call from OfficeMax. Then the next morning, I suffered through the corporation's automated phone line once again and told my story—again.

"I exercise apologize."

A courier, I was told, would pick information technology up between 2pm and 4pm today (Tuesday). My response was unfit to print.

"I do repent."

Nobody showed.

After suffering through the corporate automated telephone line another time, I explained my story—withal once more. Somebody, they said, would come Wednesday between 8am and 5pm to selection upwardly the router.

"I do apologize."

I said I might non be there. I was told that I should just brown-box it up and take the product to a UPS store. I responded that I already took information technology to the OfficeMax store where I bought it and was rejected. So I said I wasn't going to drive it to a UPS shop. Come become it was the G-rated explanation of what I said.

"I practice apologize."

Later that day, Wednesday, I received a call from OfficeMax saying the parcel would be picked upward not today but one-time betwixt 8am and 5pm Thursday. The G-rated version of my response was the aforementioned. They said they'd call before coming to make sure I would exist at home.

"I do apologize."

Thursday morn, a courier knocked on the door and picked up the router. I signed for it. I asked for a receipt, but the technology apparently didn't exist to requite me one.

Most an hour later, I got a call from OfficeMax informing me that a courier would be coming later that afternoon between 2pm and 4pm to pick up the router.

Click.

I'chiliad a impaired Luddite

As information technology turns out, this entire ordeal could have been avoided in the kickoff place. I was so excited to jump into the mesh-networking game that I committed a grave It error. What I didn't do was run a speed examination direct connected to my Internet provider'due south modem. Had I washed so, I would take realized immediately that it wasn't my Apple router malfunctioning. Instead, it was either Moving ridge Broadband's supplied modem or something else.

As I was waiting for OfficeMax to pick upwards their router, I chosen Wave Broadband. The cable guy came out and supplied me with a new modem. My speeds returned to fantastic, and everything was practiced. Simply like before, all of a sudden my network returned to a snail's pace. Clearly, there was a larger issue.

A different cable guy returned a couple of days after, ran all kinds of tests, and concluded there needed to be some work done on the telephone pole outside my residence. The next solar day, the service was performed.

My Apple router is now humming once again at monster, Star Trek-like speeds.

All of that said, my business dealings with OfficeMax continued for another week later the courier picked up my return router. That's how long information technology took for my refund to prove upwards on my PayPal account.

I'm never shopping again at OfficeMax, even if everything is costless.

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Source: https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2017/11/this-is-why-ill-never-shop-at-officemax-again-even-if-everything-is-free/

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